Million dollar question

Dude failed to provide me with any good material this week, and try as I might, I could not recall any good stories from years past! I blame the beginning of allergy season, which makes my head fuzzy and unable to concentrate.

I do, however, have a story. I’m not sure it qualifies as a “Dude-ism.” It’s more… family-isms.

Dude/Family-ism #32

We recently hosted a belated-birthday party for our paternal grandmother (Grandmom). Our aunt and uncle, maternal grandparents (Mom Mom and Pop Pop), and family friends were in attendance. At some point during the celebration, we got to discussing autism research. Someone posed the question, “Do you have an idea of where Dude’s autism comes from?”

Ah.. the million dollar question.

Our mother has a practiced response. “There’s a little bit of everyone in Dude.”

Doubt her? Observe:

Over the course of the party, Grandmom complained about the texture of her clothing. Related Dude-ism? The no clothes phase.

Mom Mom described how she can’t concentrate when individuals’ tags are hanging out of their clothes in church, or even worse, when they have lint on their person. Related Dude-ism? I’m sure I don’t have to remind you about the booty-grabbing incident during mass.

And finally, while eating dessert, a droplet of ice cream fell off my spoon and onto the table. It remained there for some time until Pop Pop, who was sitting next to me, declared, “I can’t stand it any more!” and attacked the droplet with a napkin. “I’ve been staring at that thing for the last 15 minutes and I can’t concentrate!!!!” Related Dude-ism?

I don’t think I’ve posted a story about Dude’s aversion to wet spots or crumbs on the table. If something is spilled, no matter how small the spot, he literally cannot concentrate until it has been wiped away. If it is within his reach, he immediately jumps on it. He has lunged at tables of unsuspecting patrons in restaurants to wipe up water rings.

If the offending spot is not within Dude’s reach, he fixates on it and switches from staring at the spot to staring at you with eyes that say, “Umm HELLO?? Aren’t you going to do something about that?!?! I can’t live in these conditions!!!”

So yes. Our mother is absolutely correct when she says, “There’s a little bit of everyone in Dude.”

 

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