Silent barks

Back story #1

The last dog that our family adopted was extremely quirky. Her name was Sugar, although one of my friends from high school preferred to call her Fatty.

When Sugar wanted your attention (which was always), she went through this routine that we called “Silent barks.”

Say you were sitting on the couch watching TV. First, Sugar would sit next to the arm of the couch and stare you down. In your peripheral vision, you could always see her staring intently at you, almost willing you to read her mind.

If you continued to ignore her, Sugar would then start silent barking at you. A silent bark is best defined as this:

Silent Bark (n.): When a dog goes through the motion of barking, but does not make the accompanying sound. Instead, an exhalation of air and the sound of the jaws snapping shut are the only sounds made.

If you STILL ignored Sugar, she would start “talking” at you. Her version of talking was a mix between growling and what dogs sound like when they “sing.”

If she still hadn’t gotten the attention she thought she deserved, Sugar would finally let out one solitary, desperate bark.

Back story #2

Over the years, Mom, Dad, and I started incorporating silent barks into our quirky behavior. We generally employ silent barks when we’re trying to enter a conversation and get cut off, or when someone is blatantly ignoring us. We only do this within our immediate family because, let’s face it, it’s weird.

Back story #3

As I alluded to in an earlier post, Dude never really cared for any dogs after Cujo. We always thought Dude didn’t pay much attention to Sugar or the things we did to mimic her.

CLEARLY, we underestimated him.

Dude-ism #42

One night at dinner, Dude was trying to get our dad’s attention. “No DCI.” “No Around the World.” “No cat.” Dude kept going through all the things he likes to do after dinner.

Dad was busy talking to Mom about something or the other.

Suddenly, Dude silent barked at Dad.

It has been 5 years since Sugar passed away, and Dude remembered and decided to apply the silent bark in an appropriate situation.

My brother makes me laugh on a daily basis.

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