Return of the Sock Monkey

In 2010, Kia released a commercial of a bunch of life-sized children’s toys driving around in a Sorento and getting into all sorts of mischief.

Ever since this commercial came out, our grandmother has been on a mission to find the sock monkey that she SWEARS is somewhere in her house. We have looked and looked, but it’s nowhere to be found.

This past weekend, we celebrated Grandmom’s 80th birthday. In honor of the monumental day, Mom FOUND A SOCK MONKEY. She went to Target, asked for help in the toy department, and was led to a display of not one, but TWO different kinds of sock monkeys! One was of the typical knit variety.

When Grandmom opened the bag, she let out a yelp of pure joy. It is honestly the happiest I have seen her in years.

Grandmom's new friend

The other sock monkey that Mom decided to buy was this one:

Guess who she got it for?

If you guessed Dude, you are absolutely correct.

Dude-ism #87

Dude got to open his sock monkey right after Grandmom opened hers. He figured out right away that it made sound and started playing Taio Cruz’s “Dynamite” over and over and over. It was pretty entertaining in that Grandmom made her sock monkey dance along to the music.

Half an hour later, Dude was still pressing the button to play the song every 30 seconds. We got in the car to head home and lasted about 10 minutes before we decided we couldn’t take it anymore.

I reached out, grabbed sock monkey, and put it in-between me and the door of the car.

“Sorry Dude,” I said. “You’ll get sock monkey back when we get home.”

Dude leaned forward in his seat and looked past me to stare at sock monkey. His gaze kept switching between me and his new toy.

“No monkey,” Dude said, looking at me. (To understand Dude’s use of the word “no,” please refer to the Dude Language Guide.)

“Nope. We’re done with sock monkey for now. You’ll get it once we get home,” I answered.

“No monkey.”

“Not right now.”

“No monkey.”

“When we get home.”

“No monkey.”

“Nope.”

“No monkey.”

:Sigh:

“No monkey.”

“When we get home, you will get sock monkey, Dude.”

“No monkey.”

“No monkey.”

“No monkey.”

“No monkey.”

“No monkey.”

“No monkey.”

“No monkey.”

“No monkey.” At this point, Dude leaned forward even more and pointed at the sock monkey. Pointing is something that is really difficult for him, so I was super impressed with his effort.

“That’s really good pointing, Dude! But no. No sock monkey until we get back to the house.”

“No monkey.”

“No monkey.”

“No monkey.”

“No monkey.”

“No monkey.”

“No monkey.”

“No monkey.”

“You’re not even asking properly, so I shouldn’t even give it back to you when we get home.”

“IwanttoplaywithmonkeyPLEASE.” Dude said emphatically.

Well then. He wasn’t messing around.

I held firm.

As soon as the front tires touched our driveway, Dude’s seatbelt was OFF and he was reaching towards sock monkey. He looked at me with a look that said, “You said I would get it when we got home. This is our driveway. NOW GIVE ME THE MONKEY, DAMNIT.”

And so, Dude got his monkey.

And promptly wore out the batteries in less than 24 hours. A new record.

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